And then I had to make a decision. A life-changing and devastatingly difficult decision. How do you lock that door behind you…for good this time. Not like you have been doing for about a decade of your life. With the untamable desire to skip night time and open up the doors again the next day.
My husband’s employers for whom he was working as an external associate had offered him a position in Switzerland. And I had my position in Greece as mother of Maggie, expecting Nicholas and businesswoman and teacher. To this day, I am still in love with all these roles. This was too heavy for me, as Eugenia, to handle. So I had to exit from my roles and become a logical stranger. A person who could objectively choose the most possible positive points between each case.
From a neutral point of view, with no major biased feelings, the choice was almost clear. Having been born and raised in Canada, the vast majority of Switzerland’s attributes coincided with those that I admired in Canada. But the neutrality could not remain in the forefront for too long. I would manage to make my appearance in this logical picture and ache for my family, our school and co-workers and friends. This went on and on for several nights…while being pregnant to Nicholas. I really trained myself then to limit my anguish to a minimum. I was sleepless for three whole months. Performing beautifully at home with Maggie and at work with my colleagues and clients. But I had to make a responsible statement to myself first and then to everyone else involved.
Since the objectivity was constantly beaten by the appearance of Eugenia, I had to eliminate those two complicated players and make the decision as a mother first and then as a human being.
The decision was then easily reached.
The best conditions for both my children to grow up in were in Switzerland.
And the best solution for both my colleagues/friends and clients was to continue their cooperation on an independent level. Unfortunately, managing a business in Greece from a distance was clearly not a feasible option from a business and financial point of view.
We all had our own lockers at the reception area of our school. I would leave notes for our English teachers there for them to find and they looked forward to checking those lockers. We worked together in such harmony that everything was very pleasant and productive. Even those notes.
That day, I wrote down an individual note for each one of our beautiful and professional teachers. Beautiful in every way and I mean it. It was like a short love note that had a hint of what was going to happen. Upon arrival, they found their notes, one by one and looked at me. We could not say much and I could not allow myself to mourn or feel sorrow. For the well-being of Nicholas. I forbid myself to feel it. The same rumbling sound that was heard when we were in full swing at the school, could be felt again now. It had a different meaning this time, though. And you could not hear it.
A rough month went by until the end of the school year as the clients were having a hard time accepting this news flash. And I am forever in debt to them. Even for the new school we have today. It all started with them.
The days of June 2009 were coming to an end but I felt I would not be able to cope with the last day. I had physically started to pack our things in boxes with the help of my family and teachers. I remember our school secretary and dear friend, Lambrini trying to stop me from doing things because of my pregnancy. How lucky I have been to have all these precious people in my life.
June would end on a Tuesday…but I could not turn that key for a last time. So I left on Friday. Two days before the end. With my briefcase I walked back home and remember the whole way back. Looking at my shadow in the sunset.
I had to delete the pain from my body and my soul so as not to harm unborn Nicholas. So as to support Maggie in this huge new step. So as to help my sister Vicky, any way I could possibly think of in her new beginning with us.
So Feats No 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 took their course. And it all went along smoothly. But the time had come for me to mourn. At last. At long last.
And now this: http://www.lorasnetwork.com. And I am happy again. Thank you.
This door may have closed but it helped open a new one. We are grateful to everyone involved.
Eugenia Loras 